So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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