my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
