I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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