i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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