I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
false alarm, still single
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