Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
