Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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