I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
