Sry I called you an 8
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
