Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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