I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
