I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
