i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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