There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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