i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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