my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
