Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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