If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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