when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
