Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow

(248): View more from Michigan

Perfect. Like where your heads at

(906): View more from Michigan

By relax I mean have sex

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(703): View more from Virginia

someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...

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(435): View more from Utah

Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers

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(703): View more from Virginia

He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.

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(269): View more from Michigan

im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower

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(716): View more from New York

can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.

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