Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
