Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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