They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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