i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
