I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
