Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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