I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
