and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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