wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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