3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
