No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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