but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
