if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
