Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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