he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
