Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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