I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
