Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
