We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
