Quick, to the slutcave!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
