Christians are straight up FREAKS
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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