How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
