I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
did i walk over a car last night?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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