oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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