I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
