I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
