apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Damn victory sex feels great
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
