Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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