we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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