I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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