After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
