Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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